Military Divorce Rate High
By PAULINE JELINEK
WASHINGTON – Divorce in the nation’s military was no higher after four years of war than it was in peacetime a decade earlier, despite the stress of long and repeated tours of duty.
A yearlong study by Rand Corp. says divorces rose from 2.5 percent of military marriages in 2001 to 3 percent in 2005. But that is still short of a previous Pentagon theory that marriage breakups had been soaring due to the strain of fighting the campaigns in Iraq and Afghanistan, lead researcher Benjamin Karney said Thursday.
He cautioned that the review of service records could not foresee whether more divorces will occur in years after troops leave the service.
And he also said the yearlong study on “Families Under Stress” did not look at other possible consequences, either current or future, such as increases in alcoholism or the toll on orphaned or emotionally stressed children of troops.
“The future is uncertain. The full impact of these conflicts on military families may not be known for years,” Karney said.
“But in the short term, we can say that we are not seeing what everyone thought we were going to see,” on the subject of divorces, he said.
The study came out a day after the Pentagon said it was extending the tours of all active duty soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan – about 100,000 troops – to 15 months from the current one year. That was the latest in a series of extended deployments and repeated call-ups of reserve units that have strained the Army and its troops over more than five years of warfare.
Defense Department officials in 2005 had announced a huge jump in the divorce rate, saying cases doubled from 5,658 to 10,477 between 2001 and 2004 among active-duty Army officers and enlisted personnel.
Read the rest at RedOrbit.com
~ by Anthony on April 14, 2007.
Posted in Counseling, Marriage/Relationship Problems, Spouse Support Group, Stories, Why I Got Help
Almost every military marriage I know (I am a military spouse) has ended in the last year. One couple is still together, besides me and my hubby.
It’s not so much that they cant take it when they are there, it’s just that they are so different when they come back. They often just don’t love each other anymore. It’s so sad, I wish they’d all try and stick it out. I wish they’d realize that the person they married is still there beneath the tough exterior that either war, or providing for the family at home alone, has given them.
The most overwhelming tragedy of this war is the huge number of returning veterans and their spouses who end up divorcing. My husband who returned from Iraq in Oct. 2006 left me this June. He is searching for something and he thinks that he can find it with “freedom” from me. My greatest concern is for him that he finds the peace he needs. He is going to counseling and I hope that helps him come to terms with all he endured there. If that helps him come back to me, that will be a plus but I really pray for his personal well-being.
Ya it’s really a shame that these people go to defend their countries and when they come back their wife or husband has left them. This is something that would never happen 50 years ago. So sad.
I have a dear friend who’s wife left him right after his return from Iraq. I am researching this phenom and the incredible suicide rates of Iraq vets. If you are a victim of either please contact any credible veteran resource and get the stories on record. We the people need exposure of these tragedies so we can address them and help we want to help! Bless you if its your experience, lets figure this thing out.
Its not always the spouse at home that leaves. I was a devoted military spouse of almost 7 yrs! FAITHFUL AND DEVOTED was I! I had a 5yo daughter and was pregnant while my spouse was on his last deploymnet. He cheater on me while I was pregnant while he was deployed with another soldier who was also married at the time. It was not one minor slip it happened over and over over the course of the 18 months he was deployed. They video taped the incidence and got caught. Almost 2 yrs later I am doing well am still going through the divorce. He is still with the vixen, who by the way KNEW i was pregnant when she left for deployement. It just makes me sick that many of the stories out there are about the poor soldiers who suffered, and oh when they get back their spouses have left them. Nobody EVER does a story about the wives who gave up their whole lives to be a stay at home mom, supportive military wife, and FRG leader who gets cheated on. The problems are its just too easy for them to cheat over there. This woman makes me sick because of her some people think well maybe men and women shouldnt be deployed together for temptation. It was also not the amount of time that lapsed that could have casued urges because let me tell you fols it happened only a a few weeks after they got there!
I am writing an article for a national women’s magazine about military marriages and the effects of deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan. I am very interested in talking with any/all of you who have posted here, or with anyone who would like to share a story. Please email me at Fsmith@aol.com and write Military Marriage in the subject line (in case your note ends up in my spam file). Thank you.
I am the spouse of a military veteran. He has been home from Afghanistan for 6 years now and life is in termoil. He and I are both in counseling now but sadly I believe we are going to get a divorce. He has hit me, neglected our family, spends money like water and dont care about the finances, doesnt do anything at home but eat, watch TV, and look on singles sites. I have done everything for the last 6 years and it has caused me to emotionally break down. I lost my job in the auto industry and have no way out. He has been in jail once for hitting my 18 year old daughter, has gotten in 4 fights (serious fights where they went to the hospital), and now keeps a huge army knife by his bed. We don’t sleep together anymore, he says he is not interested in sex.
One day he tells me he doesnt love me, the next he says he does. tells me I am beneith him, no good enough for him and days later wants to work it out. He has spent time with other woman saying the is exploring his options. Get angry any time I try to communicate with me and has become a compulsive liar. He goes to counseling but misses most of his appts.
Now, tell me. War got me in this mess and there is no help to get out. I am afraid of becoming a statistic but cannot afford to get out. What is someone like me suppose to do?
I still love him and care about him but I have a 15 year old son at home still and I worry about both of our safety. to the point that I am considering sending my son to live with his father a few states away, which would break his heart and yank him from his foundation.
Tell me, someone, anyone, what is someone in my place suppose to do.
All these stories are tragedies. Yes I feel that some of these divorces can and could be prevented. If divorce is an option, then you will probably end up getting a divorce. I am in the porcess of getting a divorce from my Army spouse. He is enlisted and cheated on me during deploymend and got this major pregnant during the last month they were there. I was back home caring for our daughter who was born while he was deployed. I was willing to work on the marriage, but he was not. He wants to be with her and their new baby. So yes it’s a tragedy, but he always thought divorce was an option. He is and always will be a cheater. He cheated on his “girlfriend” with me, his soon-to-be ex-wife. I do feel the Army should do more to prevent cheating and steeper consequences. My husband lost rank, money, and had extra duty. I don’t know what happened to the major, but feel like she should have higher standards. What about the Army values? I guess she doesn’t posess them. I could maybe understand a one time oops, but it was ongoing and they both knew it was wrong. Marriage is not to be taken lightly. I took my duty as a military wife seriously and got burned. Moving on is not easy, but you have to do what is best for your kids.